The hat

Fast Eddie · **Fast Eddie**

O'Leary showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. O'Leary had never been seen in church in his life. After Mass, the
priest caught O'Leary and said, "O'Leary, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass; what made you come?"

O'Leary said, "I've got to be honest with you, Father.
A while back, I misplaced my hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that Shaunessy had one just like mine and I knew that Shaunessy came
to church every Sunday. I also knew that Shaunessy had to take off his hat during Mass and I figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal Shaunessy's hat."

The priest said, "Well, O'Leary, I notice that you didn't steal Shaunessy's hat. What changed your mind?"

O'Leary said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal Shaunessy's hat."

The priest gave O'Leary a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', you decided you would rather do without your hat than burn
in Hell, right?"

O'Leary shook his head and said, "No, Father, after you talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left my hat."

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My wife said I had to give up golf or she'd leave me. I don't miss her as much as I thought I would.