Archive for Tunica Forum - Tunica Gambling Forum - Free discussion forum for Tunica Mississippi Tunica MS, Biloxi MS, Las Vegas and everywhere else! Contests, promotions and drawings!
|
Fast Eddie
|
Wit and wisdom"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was -
'You'll never find anyone like me again!'
I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?'
"Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
"A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.
'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered.
I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."
"My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh."
"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here!'"
|
WILynn
|
ROFL. Good ones, Ed. Thanks.
|
GaPam
|
 Those are some good ones Ed!
|
copnout25
|
Thanks ED
|
|
|
|